Tag Archives: momblogger

Overlooked Again? How to Secure the Promotion

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When in college I thought the cookie cutter recipe to a lucrative career was to  graduate, find a good job, work hard, and the promotions would come.  In other words hard work = promotion. During my career I saw individuals who were promoted frequently and others who were constantly overlooked for promotions. I personally have been on both ends of the spectrum. What does it take to obtain the promotion?

 

Strive To Be The Best At What You Do

It is always a good idea to put forth great effort in your current role.  Exceed expectations, strive to be the expert in your role, and continue to learn in your field. Go above and beyond. Volunteer for additional projects and complete them well.  Ask your immediate manger for feedback in areas of improvement. Communicate to your manager your career goals.

Maintain a Positive Attitude

Your attitude will determine your success. Many people have heard this before but rarely  believe it.  So here it is again. Your attitude will determine your success. Years ago I recall there was a woman I worked with and every day she had a sticky note taped to her computer. The sticky note read “stay positive” I never knew why she had this taped to her computer. I assumed she needed the reminder for herself. Maybe the ugly horns of negativity was something she was struggling with I thought. I never asked her about the sticky note. In hindsight, it could have been for me. Everyday as I walked past her computer, I saw the sticky note and it was of encouragement to me.

I noticed once I changed my attitude, my life started to shift drastically in a positive manner. I made a conscious and intentional choice to practice gratitude.  Once I started practicing gratitude, my attitude changed, and in turn my life changed.A positive attitude is not something that can be faked. People can feel it. Authenticity in this area is necessary.

Find Yourself Some Cheerleaders

No one has gotten anywhere alone. In your career it is necessary to build relationships with key individuals that can aide in your development. Earlier this year I was at a conference and one of the speakers stated everyone should have a mentor no matter what level they are in their careers. She went on to explain  “you need someone to be  a cheerleader for you.”

This is a  tip many individuals  overlook. Just imagine if you were looking lets say for example, a contractor to remodel your kitchen. You go online look up a couple of contractors. You speak with them over the phone ,receive some estimates, and one you are considering hiring. Later that evening, you mention to your friend you are about to remodel your kitchen. He says I know a really good contractor.  He completed my basement. He is dependable, talented and reasonably price. You call the guy and he seems like someone you would want to hire. Who do you go with? Most people would take a chance on the the contractor that had a good word from a previous customer. This doesn’t mean the other contractor would not have done a good job however, having a “cheerleader” helped seal the deal. In a competitive workplace you can never have enough cheerleaders.

Establish a Good Relationship With Your Manager

I know what some of you are  thinking. My Manager has the people skills of a rock. He could not do my job for one week. This may be true however, this ties into having cheerleaders for yourself. If you are in a position in which you have poor leadership, please take a look at my article How to Deal With A Bad Boss.  I’m not saying you have to be BFF’s with your Manager. However, it is smart to have a good working relationship with your immediate Manager and your Senior Managers. When promotion time comes around you can bet your Manager will be consulted on your performance. Establish your Manager as  one of your cheerleaders.

Network Within and Outside Your Organization

Establishing a strong network is essential in your career. Network within your organization as paths may cross again. Network outside your organization as opportunities are always  becoming available. My approach to networking is what can I do to help others? It can be as simple as introducing two people who can help each other. This approach to networking has come full circle for myself and business. Through my efforts of service to others my network strengthens, trust is formed, relationships are born and business grows. For more tips on networking please read How to Increase Relationship Building Skills.

Please share what has helped you secure your promotion. I would love to hear.

Witten by Rochella Neely
An “Open Book”

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Why You Should Date Yourself

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Someone posted an interesting question to social media. The question posed was would you date yourself? Would I date myself? I thought about that for a moment and the answer is yes. I am a person of good character and fun to be around. I would date myself. Months later I decided to actually take myself on a date. Here’s why I believe every woman should date herself.

Self Care is Necessary Not Optional

As career women and mothers we tend to give, give, and give more. We give to our careers, we give to our children, we give to our spouses or significant others, we give to our friends, but when do we give to ourselves? Taking care of self is necessary for a healthy mind, body, and soul. Once upon a time, like clockwork, I was at the salon getting my hair styled, nails manicured, and eyebrows arched. Fast forward 10 years, I have almost forgotten what the inside of a salon looks like!  Why did I stop doing these little things for myself? The answer is taking care of everything else and everyone else became priority over myself.  I believe neglecting to treat oneself  over an extended period of time can become dangerous and here’s why.

Resentment and Bitterness

Bitterness and discontent can start to fester inside of you. No one wants resentment and bitterness as their two BFF’s. I have spoken with many women who feel they have lost the essence of who they are. I have experience brief periods of this myself. How do we combat this? One way is by dating yourself.

My Lunch Date

One afternoon I decided to take myself to lunch. I had a nice quiet lunch at a steakhouse. The restaurant was not extremely busy, as I went during lunch in the middle of the week. It was nice to sit and be with my inner thoughts. Tranquility was present on my lunch date.  The food was pleasing to my palate.

Next I took myself shopping. This was fun! Oh how wonderful it was to shop for myself. No  stopping to take kids to the bathroom, and no questions of when are we leaving? I purchased some items that I didn’t even know I wanted. I had been so busy “doing” lately I had lost desire and want.

Here are some suggestions to have a successful date with yourself:

  1. Turn your phone off. For my next date the phone will be turned off for a couple of hours for a better experience.
  2. Do only for yourself during the date. While I was shopping I found myself thinking I wonder if I could find xyz for my daughter? or abc for my husband? I had to remind myself this is for me. All items purchased should be for me.
  3. Have fun. Enjoy the moment.
  4. Take note of your feelings during the date. I was surprised that I felt closer  to my real self and reconnected.

My goal for 2018 is to date myself more regularly.  I will no longer wait until I’m burned out. I will put it on my calendar as a regularly scheduled event.

Written by Rochella Neely
“an open book”

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Working Mom Guilt

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A few days ago I watched a television show. On this show, A female doctor was explaining why she quit practicing medicine to stay at home with her kids. As she told her story she was emotional. This doctor’s story resonated with me so, that it brought me to tears. Yes, working mom guilt is real and powerful.

Working mom guilt, I believe every working mother experiences it to some level. Some women learn to suppress the guilt, some learn to work with it, and others simply cannot and choose to stay home with their children.

When I had my first child the guilt was very strong. By he second not as much but still there. Here are steps that may help you work with the guilt.

Select a Childcare Provider you are Comfortable With

Knowing  you are leaving your child with a provider you feel comfortable with will help with the guilt. No one is  going to take care of your child as you, however, knowing your child is with the next best option will help. Research childcare providers and nannies, ask for referrals, check references, and do not compromise until you’ve found a good fit you and your child feel comfortable with.

You’re Doing This For Your Child Not To Your Child

One way I was able to curtail the guilt was to remind myself that I was doing this FOR my children not TO my children. It can be discouraging at first when you leave for work and your kid is hysterically crying, clenched to your body with all that they have.  What parent would not feel guilty.

I had to remind myself children are expensive. Two incomes for my household was economically best for my family. But is it emotionally best for your kids you may ask?

Learning to Deal with the Separation Will Help Long- Term

Going to work and allowing your child to experience separation from their parents can be healthy for the child and you. The child will adjust and learn to trust that the parents will come back. Time around other individuals and/or children will expose the child to develop other healthy relationships early on.

One of the most joyous feelings is to come home or pick your child up and see, hear, and feel the excitement your child has to see you. My 2 year old will normally run and screammommy, my mommy, you are back and give me a great big bear hug. The  best feeling in the world!

Do What is Best For Your Family

Every family dynamic is different. If you decide you cannot bear the guilt when your little one is crying uncontrollably “mommy don’t go!” Should you choose to stay home with your little one that is fine. There is no denying the fact kids grow up quickly. Being a working mom you will miss some things. I believe every working mom wishes she could work and not miss one second of her child’s childhood. The reality of the matter is we all have to make a choice and that choice is  custom to our families. I would love to hear what choice you made and if you had any regrets.

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4 Soft Skills That Can Send Your Career To the Next Level

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Many years ago, while in college, I overheard a soon to be graduate speaking with another student. The student was asking her what were the most valuable skills she learned while in college. She responded honestly, I learned how to communicate with all types of people. Communication would be my biggest take from school. I feel I have the ability to communicate with anyone from any walk of life and this has been due to my college experience.

Over the years, I have learned many skills some were technical skills necessary to perform a role or position. Others, were skills I learned by working in the workforce. Some of the most valuable skills that transcend from industry to industry are what we call soft skills. Soft skills, or as I like to refer to them professional skills, are skills an individual acquire either naturally or are specifically developed.

Here are four highly sought after soft skills that can help elevate your career. In the story I shared above, my fellow college student learned what I think is one of the most valuable soft skills and that is communication.

Communication

Communication is important in every industry. Communication involves not only expressing your ideas but also listening to others. Understanding what is the big picture, is just as important as articulating the vision to others.

Mastering the skill of communication is highly recommended to elevate your career. Just think, when you first meet an individual your first impression is developed on how the person looks and how they present themselves. Great communicators are essential in any work environment and usually are looked upon favorably.

The art of communicating what  you want, need, and how to obtain the goal is necessary in any work environment. Good communication involves listening, paraphrasing back to the person what you understand them to be saying, then clearly respond what you want to convey. Following up to ensure your message was received correctly is essential.

Positive Attitude

Steve Harvey said it best “Your attitude will determine your altitude.” A positive attitude is something a person has worked to develop. I truly believe your attitude will determine your success in anything you seek out to do. This soft skill is one that many individuals miss.

Is your attitude a skill? Yes! Yes! It is! I say this because in life whether it is career or personal, there will be challenges. How you view and handle these obstacles will determine your outcome. When things do not go as we plan or would like, it’s human nature to feel sad, angry, or down. But how do we view this obstacle? I had to shift my thinking to ok this is not working as I thought it would what direction is this obstacle shifting me to? This challenge is presented to me to prepare me for a success.

To not allow your emotions to take over when there are challenges is a skill that must be developed. Maintaining a positive attitude is indeed a skill. A skill that employers desire because in any organization there will be challenges. Which leads me to my next soft skill critical thinking.

Critical Thinking

Have you ever heard the phrase “there is more than one way to skin a cat?” Critical thinking is an important skill in problem solving and conflict resolution.  Problems in the workplace will arise weather it be an unforeseen occurrence that will interfere with meeting a deadline, or issues in day to day operations that arise. Critical thinking is paramount in handling challenges when they present themselves.

Leadership

If you are in a leadership role or not, having a leadership spirit is a desirable skill. The ability to inspire and motivate the people around you is a skill worth developing to get the best results. Lead by example, be a role model, while remaining humble will gain you followers even if you don’t directly manage others. Your influence  and  ability to establish teamwork will payoff.

Developing these four crucial professional skills, will give you the opportunity to develop your career to the next level. Please share with me some of your soft skills that has helped you in your career. I would love to hear them!

Written by:

Rochella Neely
“An open book”

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