Someone posted an interesting question to social media. The question posed was would you date yourself? Would I date myself? I thought about that for a moment and the answer is yes. I am a person of good character and fun to be around. I would date myself. Months later I decided to actually take myself on a date. Here’s why I believe every woman should date herself.
Self Care is Necessary Not Optional
As career women and mothers we tend to give, give, and give more. We give to our careers, we give to our children, we give to our spouses or significant others, we give to our friends, but when do we give to ourselves? Taking care of self is necessary for a healthy mind, body, and soul. Once upon a time, like clockwork, I was at the salon getting my hair styled, nails manicured, and eyebrows arched. Fast forward 10 years, I have almost forgotten what the inside of a salon looks like! Why did I stop doing these little things for myself? The answer is taking care of everything else and everyone else became priority over myself. I believe neglecting to treat oneself over an extended period of time can become dangerous and here’s why.
Resentment and Bitterness
Bitterness and discontent can start to fester inside of you. No one wants resentment and bitterness as their two BFF’s. I have spoken with many women who feel they have lost the essence of who they are. I have experience brief periods of this myself. How do we combat this? One way is by dating yourself.
My Lunch Date
One afternoon I decided to take myself to lunch. I had a nice quiet lunch at a steakhouse. The restaurant was not extremely busy, as I went during lunch in the middle of the week. It was nice to sit and be with my inner thoughts. Tranquility was present on my lunch date. The food was pleasing to my palate.
Next I took myself shopping. This was fun! Oh how wonderful it was to shop for myself. No stopping to take kids to the bathroom, and no questions of when are we leaving? I purchased some items that I didn’t even know I wanted. I had been so busy “doing” lately I had lost desire and want.
Here are some suggestions to have a successful date with yourself:
- Turn your phone off. For my next date the phone will be turned off for a couple of hours for a better experience.
- Do only for yourself during the date. While I was shopping I found myself thinking I wonder if I could find xyz for my daughter? or abc for my husband? I had to remind myself this is for me. All items purchased should be for me.
- Have fun. Enjoy the moment.
- Take note of your feelings during the date. I was surprised that I felt closer to my real self and reconnected.
My goal for 2018 is to date myself more regularly. I will no longer wait until I’m burned out. I will put it on my calendar as a regularly scheduled event.
Written by Rochella Neely
“an open book”