A few days ago I watched a television show. On this show, A female doctor was explaining why she quit practicing medicine to stay at home with her kids. As she told her story she was emotional. This doctor’s story resonated with me so, that it brought me to tears. Yes, working mom guilt is real and powerful.
Working mom guilt, I believe every working mother experiences it to some level. Some women learn to suppress the guilt, some learn to work with it, and others simply cannot and choose to stay home with their children.
When I had my first child the guilt was very strong. By he second not as much but still there. Here are steps that may help you work with the guilt.
Select a Childcare Provider you are Comfortable With
Knowing you are leaving your child with a provider you feel comfortable with will help with the guilt. No one is going to take care of your child as you, however, knowing your child is with the next best option will help. Research childcare providers and nannies, ask for referrals, check references, and do not compromise until you’ve found a good fit you and your child feel comfortable with.
You’re Doing This For Your Child Not To Your Child
One way I was able to curtail the guilt was to remind myself that I was doing this FOR my children not TO my children. It can be discouraging at first when you leave for work and your kid is hysterically crying, clenched to your body with all that they have. What parent would not feel guilty.
I had to remind myself children are expensive. Two incomes for my household was economically best for my family. But is it emotionally best for your kids you may ask?
Learning to Deal with the Separation Will Help Long- Term
Going to work and allowing your child to experience separation from their parents can be healthy for the child and you. The child will adjust and learn to trust that the parents will come back. Time around other individuals and/or children will expose the child to develop other healthy relationships early on.
One of the most joyous feelings is to come home or pick your child up and see, hear, and feel the excitement your child has to see you. My 2 year old will normally run and screammommy, my mommy, you are back and give me a great big bear hug. The best feeling in the world!
Do What is Best For Your Family
Every family dynamic is different. If you decide you cannot bear the guilt when your little one is crying uncontrollably “mommy don’t go!” Should you choose to stay home with your little one that is fine. There is no denying the fact kids grow up quickly. Being a working mom you will miss some things. I believe every working mom wishes she could work and not miss one second of her child’s childhood. The reality of the matter is we all have to make a choice and that choice is custom to our families. I would love to hear what choice you made and if you had any regrets.