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Why You Should Date Yourself

Rochella@careerandfamilylife.com
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Someone posted an interesting question to social media. The question posed was would you date yourself? Would I date myself? I thought about that for a moment and the answer is yes. I am a person of good character and fun to be around. I would date myself. Months later I decided to actually take myself on a date. Here’s why I believe every woman should date herself.

Self Care is Necessary Not Optional

As career women and mothers we tend to give, give, and give more. We give to our careers, we give to our children, we give to our spouses or significant others, we give to our friends, but when do we give to ourselves? Taking care of self is necessary for a healthy mind, body, and soul. Once upon a time, like clockwork, I was at the salon getting my hair styled, nails manicured, and eyebrows arched. Fast forward 10 years, I have almost forgotten what the inside of a salon looks like!  Why did I stop doing these little things for myself? The answer is taking care of everything else and everyone else became priority over myself.  I believe neglecting to treat oneself  over an extended period of time can become dangerous and here’s why.

Resentment and Bitterness

Bitterness and discontent can start to fester inside of you. No one wants resentment and bitterness as their two BFF’s. I have spoken with many women who feel they have lost the essence of who they are. I have experience brief periods of this myself. How do we combat this? One way is by dating yourself.

My Lunch Date

One afternoon I decided to take myself to lunch. I had a nice quiet lunch at a steakhouse. The restaurant was not extremely busy, as I went during lunch in the middle of the week. It was nice to sit and be with my inner thoughts. Tranquility was present on my lunch date.  The food was pleasing to my palate.

Next I took myself shopping. This was fun! Oh how wonderful it was to shop for myself. No  stopping to take kids to the bathroom, and no questions of when are we leaving? I purchased some items that I didn’t even know I wanted. I had been so busy “doing” lately I had lost desire and want.

Here are some suggestions to have a successful date with yourself:

  1. Turn your phone off. For my next date the phone will be turned off for a couple of hours for a better experience.
  2. Do only for yourself during the date. While I was shopping I found myself thinking I wonder if I could find xyz for my daughter? or abc for my husband? I had to remind myself this is for me. All items purchased should be for me.
  3. Have fun. Enjoy the moment.
  4. Take note of your feelings during the date. I was surprised that I felt closer  to my real self and reconnected.

My goal for 2018 is to date myself more regularly.  I will no longer wait until I’m burned out. I will put it on my calendar as a regularly scheduled event.

Written by Rochella Neely
“an open book”

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Overlooked Again? How to Secure the Promotion

Rochella@careerandfamilylife.com
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Rochella@careerandfamilylife.com

Thanks for stopping by! I am a business woman, blogger, wife and mother. I help women balance the challenging roles of career and family life by sharing resources, tips and experiences. I have worked in the financial industry for almost 20 years and I have two children.
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When in college I thought the cookie cutter recipe to a lucrative career was to  graduate, find a good job, work hard, and the promotions would come.  In other words hard work = promotion. During my career I saw individuals who were promoted frequently and others who were constantly overlooked for promotions. I personally have been on both ends of the spectrum. What does it take to obtain the promotion?

 

Strive To Be The Best At What You Do

It is always a good idea to put forth great effort in your current role.  Exceed expectations, strive to be the expert in your role, and continue to learn in your field. Go above and beyond. Volunteer for additional projects and complete them well.  Ask your immediate manger for feedback in areas of improvement. Communicate to your manager your career goals.

Maintain a Positive Attitude

Maintain A Positive Attitude

Your attitude will determine your success. Many people have heard this before but rarely  believe it.  So here it is again. Your attitude will determine your success. Years ago I recall there was a woman I worked with and every day she had a sticky note taped to her computer. The sticky note read “stay positive” I never knew why she had this taped to her computer. I assumed she needed the reminder for herself. Maybe the ugly horns of negativity was something she was struggling with I thought. I never asked her about the sticky note. In hindsight, it could have been for me. Everyday as I walked past her computer, I saw the sticky note and it was of encouragement to me.

I noticed once I changed my attitude, my life started to shift drastically in a positive manner. I made a conscious and intentional choice to practice gratitude.  Once I started practicing gratitude, my attitude changed, and in turn my life changed.A positive attitude is not something that can be faked. People can feel it. Authenticity in this area is necessary.

Find Yourself Some Cheerleaders

No one has gotten anywhere alone. In your career it is necessary to build relationships with key individuals that can aide in your development. Earlier this year I was at a conference and one of the speakers stated everyone should have a mentor no matter what level they are in their careers. She went on to explain  “you need someone to be  a cheerleader for you.”

This is a  tip many individuals  overlook. Just imagine if you were looking lets say for example, a contractor to remodel your kitchen. You go online look up a couple of contractors. You speak with them over the phone ,receive some estimates, and one you are considering hiring. Later that evening, you mention to your friend you are about to remodel your kitchen. He says I know a really good contractor.  He completed my basement. He is dependable, talented and reasonably price. You call the guy and he seems like someone you would want to hire. Who do you go with? Most people would take a chance on the the contractor that had a good word from a previous customer. This doesn’t mean the other contractor would not have done a good job however, having a “cheerleader” helped seal the deal. In a competitive workplace you can never have enough cheerleaders.

Establish a Good Relationship With Your Manager

I know what some of you are  thinking. My Manager has the people skills of a rock. He could not do my job for one week. This may be true however, this ties into having cheerleaders for yourself. If you are in a position in which you have poor leadership, please take a look at my article How to Deal With A Bad Boss.  I’m not saying you have to be BFF’s with your Manager. However, it is smart to have a good working relationship with your immediate Manager and your Senior Managers. When promotion time comes around you can bet your Manager will be consulted on your performance. Establish your Manager as  one of your cheerleaders.

Network Within and Outside Your Organization

Establishing a strong network is essential in your career. Network within your organization as paths may cross again. Network outside your organization as opportunities are always  becoming available. My approach to networking is what can I do to help others? It can be as simple as introducing two people who can help each other. This approach to networking has come full circle for myself and business. Through my efforts of service to others my network strengthens, trust is formed, relationships are born and business grows. For more tips on networking please read How to Increase Relationship Building Skills.

Please share what has helped you secure your promotion. I would love to hear.

Witten by Rochella Neely
An “Open Book”

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Family Story Time How to Make it Memorable

Rochella@careerandfamilylife.com
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Rochella@careerandfamilylife.com

Thanks for stopping by! I am a business woman, blogger, wife and mother. I help women balance the challenging roles of career and family life by sharing resources, tips and experiences. I have worked in the financial industry for almost 20 years and I have two children.
Rochella@careerandfamilylife.com
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I’m going to give you a Bear Hug by Caroline Cooney

One of my fondest memories as a child is listening to the many childhood stories my mom read to me. I cultivated the love of reading at a very young age.

After a warm bath, application of soothing lotion, and clothed in new PJ’s; there’s nothing more comforting than a good bedtime story.

Snuggling under the covers and listening to a bed time story is one of the best memories I have from my childhood.

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I try to instill the love of reading into my children today. I’m going to give you a Bear Hug! is a new book I recently introduced to my 2 children. I’m going to give you a Bear Hug! by Caroline Cooney is a rhythmic, fun, book for children. While reading this book to my 2 year old daughter, she enjoys the way the author plays with word sounds to tell a story.

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As the title suggest, the book is all about hugs. The book plays on imagination and all the ways a child might give or receive a hug.  My 2 year old loves to hug so she was attracted immediately to the book. The different animals through out the book helps her learn animal recognition.

My 6 year old enjoyed the book as well. He practices his reading by reading the book aloud. For his reading level, it’s a good book for him to read to his little sister. The illustrated pictures are eye catching and attractive to young readers. This book is fun, educational, and a little wacky. The quality of the book is nice and sturdy. The perfect gift for little ones. You can purchase your copy at amazon.com

Story time is a time for kids to learn, let their imaginations soar, and develop a love of books. As my love affair for books increased, I learned I could go anywhere in the world; with out leaving my house through reading. I would like to hear some ways you cultivate the love of reading in your children and what is means to you.

 

*Winner of giveaway will be announced on Tuesday, April 11th.
*Winner must be a  U.S Citizen

Written by Rochella Neely
“An open book”

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How to Effectively Manage Your Time

Rochella@careerandfamilylife.com
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Rochella@careerandfamilylife.com

Thanks for stopping by! I am a business woman, blogger, wife and mother. I help women balance the challenging roles of career and family life by sharing resources, tips and experiences. I have worked in the financial industry for almost 20 years and I have two children.
Rochella@careerandfamilylife.com
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How to Effectively Manage Your Time

There is not enough time in the day. Have you ever thought this or said it to someone? If you are of the living, I’m sure you have. In a fast pace, I need it yesterday, kind of environment; it seems many people do not have the time to do everything. With work responsibilities, household duties, tending to children, personal care and the list goes on, there seems to never be enough time. Time Management is essential to be productive and achieve life goals. Balancing the never ending list of tasks needed to be completed can become exhausting. These tips have helped me to keep my sanity and remain focused.

Prioritize

In theory, it’s really simple. Complete one task at a time, little by little, until you have completed the entire task. Then move on to the next task. Thinking about all I need to do sometimes becomes overwhelming. What helps me is to prioritize. The task I must get completed immediately goes to the top of my list.

Time Management Tips
Time Management Tips

 

Do you physically write a list? I swear by a “to do” list! There is something about writing down everything on my to do list. After I have completed the task I draw a line through it. Just doing this simple practice of striking through the task, gives me a great sense of accomplishment. For me accomplishment motivates me to do more and I become more productive.

I love a planner or fancy “to do” note pad. In an effort to keep me organized, I decided to look for the planner of all planners. The cream of the cop.

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Tools4Wisdom Planner
Tools4Wisdom Planner

I came across the Tools4Wisdom Planner. This planner is awe-some! Let me first start with stating it is of high quality. This planner did not disappoint. When I opened the box, I believe I heard music. In black letters it reads “always believe in yourself” Anyone who knows me is aware I Love a motivational quote. Just taking this planner out the box made me want to start planning a bunch of goals.

Then I opened the planner, there was more music. Inspirational/motivational quotes each month. In addition to the quotes, each month there are essential goal sheets. These  essential goals sheets are for you to write out what biggest outcomes you would like to achieve for the month, why, and what objectives are needed to achieve these goals.

It’s as if the planner is having you to create your strategic plan. It really makes an individual go through a road map of how they are going to achieve their goals for the month. Included for each day is a to do list along with priority sub lists. To say I love this planner is an understatement.

I take it everywhere with me and it is a conversational piece. To purchase your fabulous planner click here. You will thank me later.

Utilize Electronic Reminders

Although I love the Tools4Wisdom Planner, I heavily rely on my electronic reminders. With so many tasks to complete I set a reminder for everything. All the way to picking my son up from school. I have reminders on my work email and on my phone. They are used interchangeably  for work and personal tasks. Electronic reminders will help to ensure important projects are completed on time, deadlines are not missed, and make you look as if you are on top of everything!

Be an Early Riser

The early bird gets the worm. I became an early riser by default after I had kids. Ha! I find when I rise before the rest of my household, I am more productive. I wake up 30 minutes before everyone else gets up. During this time I am able to meditate on what needs to be accomplished for the day, write in my planner to do’s for the day and prioritize them.  Sometimes I use this time to journal or start preparing for the day. Try it one morning and see if it works for you.

Do Not Overextend Yourself

Before I commit to something, I ensure I am able to deliver. A mistake  some ambitious people fall into is overextending themselves. Regardless of how well you have mastered time management and multitasking, overextending yourself is setting yourself up for failure. Before saying yes be sure you don’t have too much on your plate already.

Delegate When Possible

Delegate, delegate, delegate. One person cannot do it all. Have a team you can count on professionally and at home. One of the lessons some new leaders have to learn is you cannot do it all yourself. Tasks that can be completed  by someone else, assign them out.

This concept is true in the home. Do you assign chores to your children and hold them accountable to complete them? Does your spouse assist in the home? If not have you sat down and discussed  what tasks you need assistance with?

Time Management skills are essential in life. If you’re a CEO, a sales representative, a stay at home mom, an entrepreneur or all four, mastering time management is essential. What are some tips you have found that helps aid in managing your time? I would love to hear from you!

If you enjoyed this post please read How to Increase Relationship Building Skills.

Written by: Rochella Neely
“An open book”

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A Wife’s Secret To Happines By Jen Weaver Book Review

Rochella@careerandfamilylife.com
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Rochella@careerandfamilylife.com

Thanks for stopping by! I am a business woman, blogger, wife and mother. I help women balance the challenging roles of career and family life by sharing resources, tips and experiences. I have worked in the financial industry for almost 20 years and I have two children.
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A Wife’s Secret To Happiness

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A Wife's Secret To Happiness
A Wife’s Secret To Happiness

The key to a strong family unit is a strong foundation. Subscribe to win a free copy of this book! Recently, I came across this book A Wife’s Secret To Happiness. As a married woman of several years, I asked myself what is A Wife’s Secret To Happiness? I contemplated the thought myself. Prior to reading the book, my thoughts were a wife’s secret to happiness is carving time for herself as a woman, maintaining her individuality, and discovery of the joy in giving.

As I began to read the book, I was reminded of good advice every wife should remember. Jen Weaver beautifully writes this scriptural based, love letter to wives. The first chapter is all about the Blessing of Three Strands.

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Cord of Three Strands

The book breaks down who the three strands represent and why they are so important in a unique way. Throughout the book there are “Wifestyle” quizzes. Wifestyles are tendencies in our day to day interactions with our husbands. Readers, by completing these quizzes, can determine their Wifestyle or habits and work toward improving these habits as needed.

I really enjoyed the real life Wifestyle stories. These stories were real life experiences that many wives can relate to. Marianne’s Real Life #Wifestylin story was eye opening to me.

“When we took personality tests as part of our marriage counseling, our pastor opened the results, studied them for a moment, then leaned back in his chair and took a deep breath. We were polar opposites on nearly every part of the scale.

The pastor later told us this: “Because of your extreme differences, you have the potential to be strong for one another when the other is weak. You have a rare opportunity to be a very complete unit where, between the two of you, nearly every strength is covered because you fill in each other’s gaps. But if you don’t fill in each other’s weaknesses with your opposite strengths, you will have a difficult, tension-filled marriage.” From the book A Wife’s Secret To Happiness By Jen Weaver.

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Another aspect I really enjoyed about the book is Jen’s transparency and openness regarding her own marriage. She writes “Our disconnect fed my insecurities as jagged scars from his past…my past…our past… cut fresh wounds in my heart. Guilt became my companion. Guilt for doing some things but not others. Guilt for what didn’t get done, for not doing better, not being stronger. Guilty for the guilt, I grew bitter. Jared’s capacity seemed limited to his profession when the Jaws of Life forced open my daily functions to include wife, stay at home mom, work from home executive, personal assistant, chef, housekeeper, and somewhere in there, sex kitten. I resented that we somehow expected me to do everything else.” From the book A Wife’s Secret to Happiness By Jen Weaver.

Marriage is challenging and A Wife’s Secret to Happiness gives women resources and tools to help weather the storm. This book was eloquently written and is a good read. It is a book for current wives, soon to be wives, or women contemplating marriage.

I will have a drawing for one free copy of A Wife’s Secret to Happiness. Subscribe to  Career and Family Life below or on the right-side bar by entering your name and email address. The promotion will run from Monday, March 13, 2017 thru Monday, March 20th. The lucky winner will be announced on Tuesday, March 21st.  You also can purchase your copy here or visit www.thejenweaver.com.

*Must be a U.S. citizen to win*

Written by: Rochella Neely
“An open Book”
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