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Why You Should Date Yourself

Rochella@careerandfamilylife.com
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Rochella@careerandfamilylife.com

Thanks for stopping by! I am a business woman, blogger, wife and mother. I help women balance the challenging roles of career and family life by sharing resources, tips and experiences. I have worked in the financial industry for almost 20 years and I have two children.
Rochella@careerandfamilylife.com
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Someone posted an interesting question to social media. The question posed was would you date yourself? Would I date myself? I thought about that for a moment and the answer is yes. I am a person of good character and fun to be around. I would date myself. Months later I decided to actually take myself on a date. Here’s why I believe every woman should date herself.

Self Care is Necessary Not Optional

As career women and mothers we tend to give, give, and give more. We give to our careers, we give to our children, we give to our spouses or significant others, we give to our friends, but when do we give to ourselves? Taking care of self is necessary for a healthy mind, body, and soul. Once upon a time, like clockwork, I was at the salon getting my hair styled, nails manicured, and eyebrows arched. Fast forward 10 years, I have almost forgotten what the inside of a salon looks like!  Why did I stop doing these little things for myself? The answer is taking care of everything else and everyone else became priority over myself.  I believe neglecting to treat oneself  over an extended period of time can become dangerous and here’s why.

Resentment and Bitterness

Bitterness and discontent can start to fester inside of you. No one wants resentment and bitterness as their two BFF’s. I have spoken with many women who feel they have lost the essence of who they are. I have experience brief periods of this myself. How do we combat this? One way is by dating yourself.

My Lunch Date

One afternoon I decided to take myself to lunch. I had a nice quiet lunch at a steakhouse. The restaurant was not extremely busy, as I went during lunch in the middle of the week. It was nice to sit and be with my inner thoughts. Tranquility was present on my lunch date.  The food was pleasing to my palate.

Next I took myself shopping. This was fun! Oh how wonderful it was to shop for myself. No  stopping to take kids to the bathroom, and no questions of when are we leaving? I purchased some items that I didn’t even know I wanted. I had been so busy “doing” lately I had lost desire and want.

Here are some suggestions to have a successful date with yourself:

  1. Turn your phone off. For my next date the phone will be turned off for a couple of hours for a better experience.
  2. Do only for yourself during the date. While I was shopping I found myself thinking I wonder if I could find xyz for my daughter? or abc for my husband? I had to remind myself this is for me. All items purchased should be for me.
  3. Have fun. Enjoy the moment.
  4. Take note of your feelings during the date. I was surprised that I felt closer  to my real self and reconnected.

My goal for 2018 is to date myself more regularly.  I will no longer wait until I’m burned out. I will put it on my calendar as a regularly scheduled event.

Written by Rochella Neely
“an open book”

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Overlooked Again? How to Secure the Promotion

Rochella@careerandfamilylife.com
Follow me

Rochella@careerandfamilylife.com

Thanks for stopping by! I am a business woman, blogger, wife and mother. I help women balance the challenging roles of career and family life by sharing resources, tips and experiences. I have worked in the financial industry for almost 20 years and I have two children.
Rochella@careerandfamilylife.com
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When in college I thought the cookie cutter recipe to a lucrative career was to  graduate, find a good job, work hard, and the promotions would come.  In other words hard work = promotion. During my career I saw individuals who were promoted frequently and others who were constantly overlooked for promotions. I personally have been on both ends of the spectrum. What does it take to obtain the promotion?

 

Strive To Be The Best At What You Do

It is always a good idea to put forth great effort in your current role.  Exceed expectations, strive to be the expert in your role, and continue to learn in your field. Go above and beyond. Volunteer for additional projects and complete them well.  Ask your immediate manger for feedback in areas of improvement. Communicate to your manager your career goals.

Maintain a Positive Attitude

Maintain A Positive Attitude

Your attitude will determine your success. Many people have heard this before but rarely  believe it.  So here it is again. Your attitude will determine your success. Years ago I recall there was a woman I worked with and every day she had a sticky note taped to her computer. The sticky note read “stay positive” I never knew why she had this taped to her computer. I assumed she needed the reminder for herself. Maybe the ugly horns of negativity was something she was struggling with I thought. I never asked her about the sticky note. In hindsight, it could have been for me. Everyday as I walked past her computer, I saw the sticky note and it was of encouragement to me.

I noticed once I changed my attitude, my life started to shift drastically in a positive manner. I made a conscious and intentional choice to practice gratitude.  Once I started practicing gratitude, my attitude changed, and in turn my life changed.A positive attitude is not something that can be faked. People can feel it. Authenticity in this area is necessary.

Find Yourself Some Cheerleaders

No one has gotten anywhere alone. In your career it is necessary to build relationships with key individuals that can aide in your development. Earlier this year I was at a conference and one of the speakers stated everyone should have a mentor no matter what level they are in their careers. She went on to explain  “you need someone to be  a cheerleader for you.”

This is a  tip many individuals  overlook. Just imagine if you were looking lets say for example, a contractor to remodel your kitchen. You go online look up a couple of contractors. You speak with them over the phone ,receive some estimates, and one you are considering hiring. Later that evening, you mention to your friend you are about to remodel your kitchen. He says I know a really good contractor.  He completed my basement. He is dependable, talented and reasonably price. You call the guy and he seems like someone you would want to hire. Who do you go with? Most people would take a chance on the the contractor that had a good word from a previous customer. This doesn’t mean the other contractor would not have done a good job however, having a “cheerleader” helped seal the deal. In a competitive workplace you can never have enough cheerleaders.

Establish a Good Relationship With Your Manager

I know what some of you are  thinking. My Manager has the people skills of a rock. He could not do my job for one week. This may be true however, this ties into having cheerleaders for yourself. If you are in a position in which you have poor leadership, please take a look at my article How to Deal With A Bad Boss.  I’m not saying you have to be BFF’s with your Manager. However, it is smart to have a good working relationship with your immediate Manager and your Senior Managers. When promotion time comes around you can bet your Manager will be consulted on your performance. Establish your Manager as  one of your cheerleaders.

Network Within and Outside Your Organization

Establishing a strong network is essential in your career. Network within your organization as paths may cross again. Network outside your organization as opportunities are always  becoming available. My approach to networking is what can I do to help others? It can be as simple as introducing two people who can help each other. This approach to networking has come full circle for myself and business. Through my efforts of service to others my network strengthens, trust is formed, relationships are born and business grows. For more tips on networking please read How to Increase Relationship Building Skills.

Please share what has helped you secure your promotion. I would love to hear.

Witten by Rochella Neely
An “Open Book”

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